


Stuck in Your Head

by empressearwig



Category: Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: F/M, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-13
Updated: 2011-02-13
Packaged: 2017-10-15 15:17:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/162162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/empressearwig/pseuds/empressearwig
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Missing scenes from 2x12 and 2x13.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stuck in Your Head

When Elena calls, Bonnie's still asleep. She's only dimly aware of the blare of Lady Gaga coming from her nightstand, and when it occurs to her that she should see who it is, the phone stops ringing. And then starts again, immediately. This time she reaches her hand out and manages to grab the phone without even opening her eyes. "Hello?"

"Bonnie, hey," Elena says. She sounds entirely too awake. "Can you come over?"

"I'm sleeping."

"You're talking to me, you're not sleeping."

"Yes, I am," Bonnie says, but pushes herself up into a sitting position anyway. "What's wrong? I'm not going to let you out of the house, we all agreed --"

"Stefan's out of the tomb," Elena cuts her off.

"I'll be there in fifteen minutes," Bonnie says and hangs up. She's already running for the bathroom.

Bonnie has no idea what's going on, but she wants answers and she wants them now.

***

Jeremy's the one that answers the door, and Bonnie doesn't like the look on his face. Since the night that the almost kissed, he's looked at her in a way that she _knows_ is designed to make her squirm, but now he's looking at her with worry, and not his normal Elena worry, but something that's tinged with pity. It's not a look she understands. "Where's" is all she manages to say before he nods his head toward the kitchen.

"They're in there," he says, and then he trails along behind her when she bolts in that direction.

"How did this happen?" Bonnie demands when she walks into the kitchen, where Stefan and Elena are sitting at the table, cups of coffee in hand. "I mean, good morning. And I'm really happy to see you, Stefan, but how did this happen?"

"Good morning," Stefan says, and she thinks she sees a quick smile before his face reverts to his normal, serious expression.

Elena stands and takes a step forward. "Let's go talk in my room," she says.

Bonnie shakes her head. "No, tell me." Jeremy touches her back and she can feel him behind her, strong and solid, and she's oddly grateful for it.

Elena bites her lip, hesitating.

"Tell me," Bonnie repeats. "Please."

"I made a deal with Elijah," Elena says. "Part of that deal was getting Stefan out."

It takes Bonnie longer than she'd like to put it together.

"But that means Elijah has a witch working for him," Bonnie says, her eyes narrowing. "Who --" The penny drops. "The Martin's."

Elena nods, looking upset. "I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"No," Bonnie says, shaking her head. It hurts, this betrayal that she wasn't expecting, but that doesn't mean it's Elena's fault. "No, don't be. You didn't do anything."

"But --" Elena starts, and Bonnie cuts her off.

"No," Bonnie repeats. She can still feel Jeremy's hand against her back and she wants to lean into it, into him, but she doesn't think she has the right. "I should go." She forces a smile onto her face. "School, you know. Not all of us have an aunt that's sleeping with a teacher."

She doesn't wait for a response, just spins on her heel and heads for the door. She hears both Elena and Jeremy calling her name after her, but she doesn't stop.

She needs to be alone. She doesn't think either of them will let her be.

***

Bonnie doesn't go to school. She goes home, shuts the door behind her and cries. They're not sad tears, they're angry ones, but that doesn't mean she's going to let anyone else see them. She's not sure who she's most angry with -- herself, for being so desperate for any connection to the world that she doesn't fully understand that she took what Luka said at face value; Luka, for making himself seem trustworthy, even though he was playing her the entire time; herself, for thinking that there had ever been a reason to choose Luka over Jeremy.

And of course, Jeremy's the one that knocks on the door.

She doesn't answer, just sits at the bottom of the steps, listening to him pound on the door. She doesn't know how to face him, not now. She knows that he's not going to go away until she does.

"I know you're in there," Jeremy says loudly, between knocks. "Open the door, Bonnie."

She opens the door. "What part of wanting to be left alone didn't you understand, Jeremy?"

He pushes past her into the front hall and takes a slow, deliberate look around. "This doesn't look like school."

She folds her arms across her chest. "You knew I wasn't going to school."

He nods, once. "I did. I know you better than you think I do. Which is how I know that you're blaming yourself for not knowing that Luka wasn't on our side."

She tries to look away, but he catches her chin in his hand and turns her face back towards him. His thumb strokes across her cheek and it feels far, far too good.

"It wasn't your fault," he says, his eyes intent on hers. "No one blames you."

" _I_ blame me," she snaps, taking a step back and tightening her arms around herself. "Don't you understand that?"

"I do," he says, nodding his head. "Just like I understand that you blame yourself for your grams and for Caroline and for a hundred other things that weren't your fault. I understand that you don't want to admit that there's something going on between us because you don't want to see someone else that you care about hurt. I understand you, Bonnie. I just wish you understood that."

When she speaks, it's in a whisper. "I do."

His eyes go wide, but he doesn't speak and they just stand there, in the hall, staring at each other. Bonnie can feel each beat of her heart, only it's like it takes an eternity to go from one to the next. She doesn't know what happens next.

He's the one to break the silence. "Okay," he says, nodding his head up and down like it's all he can think of to do, "okay. This is what we're going to do. We're both going to blow off school and we're going to stay here and watch terrible movies and eat popcorn and we're going to laugh and we're going to pretend that we didn't have this conversation."

Bonnie frowns. She was with him up to the last part. "But," she starts to say.

He holds up a hand to stop her. "We are going to pretend that we didn't have this conversation because if we don't I'm going to kiss you and I don't think you're ready for me to do that. Am I wrong?"

She shakes her head.

"So we'll take one day and pretend we're normal. Tomorrow, the minute I walk out the door, whatever, we can go back to figuring out what this," he gestures between them," is. Deal?"

"Deal."

He grins at her then, and rubs his hands together in anticipation. "Great. Where do you keep your DVDs?"

Bonnie laughs and the weight that she'd felt on her chest, it's gone, just like that. He did that for her. She doesn't want to think about what that means. Instead, she takes him by the hand and pulls him in the direction of the living room. "Come with me."

He does.

***

When Bonnie sees him across the park the next day, talking to John, she can't help the smile that tugs at her mouth. She sees him smile back and something twists in her stomach, butterflies or nerves or something else, she doesn't know. But she likes it and the way that he makes her feel and she's so caught up in it that she doesn't see Dr. Martin coming.

The good feeling evaporates in an instant, and she's tense and angry, and even though she never wants to be the girl that needs to be saved, when Jeremy comes up beside her and wraps his arm around her, she's more grateful for it than she can say.

"Thank you," she says, knowing it's not enough, when they've gotten far enough away from Dr. Martin.

His arm tights around her, just for a second. "It was my pleasure, believe me."

They keep walking until they're clear of the memorial crowd, away from Dr. Martin and his uncle and everyone else. His arm doesn't move from it's place around her shoulders.

Fleetingly she thinks about how easy it would be to just let it stay there, to stay with him like this. But it wouldn't be fair, not when she's such a mess, so unsure of what she's thinking and feeling. She steps away and pretends not to notice the hurt that flashes across his face.

"I was thinking," she says, not quite meeting his eyes, "you were so great to me yesterday, and that you should let me return the favor."

Jeremy smiles, but it's not a real one, the kind that takes over his entire face. It makes her even more sorry that she can't give him what he wants.

"Oh yeah?" he asks. "What did you have in mind?"

"Pool at the Grill?" She says it like it's a question, hoping that he'll take it in the spirit in which it was intended. Offering to do something that he loves and she hates has to count as a gesture.

And sure enough, his smile deepens and she can see it reflected back to her in his eyes. It makes her heart flutter, just a little. She ignores it and smiles back. "Pool, huh?" he says. "I could be into that. You're going to lose, you know."

She nods, her eyes fast on his. "I know."

They just look at each other, and it's as if an understanding passes between them. She tries to tell him, _I'm sorry, please wait_ , and he seems to answer, _I will_.

She doesn't know how long they stand there, lost in a moment of their own making, but this time she's the one to break it.

"Do you want to," she says, tipping her head in the direction of the Grill.

"Yes," Jeremy says, and they fall into step together, not talking, not touching. Just being.

She could get used to it, she thinks. Used to him. It's not as scary an idea as it was a day a week or even an hour before.

Maybe that means someday soon it won't be scary at all. Maybe that means that someday she'll look at him and just see him, not all the reasons that they shouldn't happen, why they wouldn't work.

Maybe someday.

After Jeremy beats her senseless at three straight games of pool, he buys her a soda and they talk and they laugh, and when he smiles at her, Bonnie hopes that someday comes soon.


End file.
